Whatever They Say, They Are Right

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[0:04] Welcome to the Full Funnel Freedom podcast. If you are listening to this, you are likely leading a team responsible for generating revenue. Purpose of Full Funnel Freedom is to support people like yourself and keep your funnels consistently, reliably full. Full Funnel Freedom followers, solo pod today to share with you something that's come up a lot with leaders that I've been working with and their sellers. And specifically, it has to do with asking questions and the responses that we get back. So whether we're talking to a seller about an opportunity in a sales funnel review meeting, or our seller is talking to a buyer to qualify them or look to expand a relationship if they're already a current client, there's a theme that has come up repeatedly, which is whatever they say is the right answer.

[1:01] So going back to an earlier episode I shared with all of you, there's a mindset to instill in us as well as our sellers, and especially our sellers when they're talking to buyers. And that mindset is we have the right to ask anything. So if we feel that we need to dive a bit deeper into an opportunity that seems to be stuck in a pipeline or our seller feels that they need to ask a couple of deeper questions to really understand what's going on in the buyer's world so they can determine whether or not that our company might be a good fit to work with that buyer, we have the right to ask anything and, And the person we ask has the right to say no. And that's a human-to-human thing.

[1:53] So in a personal relationship, if you're starting a new relationship, you're getting to know somebody, or you're talking to your spouse, partner, child, etc., etc., we have the right to ask any question that we feel we need to ask in order to support the relationship, understand what's really going on. This is not a permission to be a jerk in any way, because ultimately we want to keep the other person that we are speaking with whole. And so if we damage rapport with the person we're speaking with, and that's a professional thing or a personal thing, then we're offside. So we have the right to ask anything. They have the right to say no. know. And if they choose to answer, whatever comes out of their mouth is the right answer.

[2:47] Here's where things get wiggly. We may not like that answer. And that's absolutely okay. You know, think about a sales funnel review conversation you've had or an opportunity review conversation you've had with one of your sellers where the seller likely had promised you that an opportunity was going to come across the finish line last month, last quarter, last year, and it hasn't. And now we're a little upset.

[3:14] So we're asking some questions. we're genuinely seeking to understand. And we think that our seller is giving us a bunch of waffle and nonsense. And so when we say, Hamish, help me understand what the clear next step is with this buyer that you and they have locked in your calendars. And I say something back like, well, you know, I'm going to call Cheyenne next week because she said that maybe by the middle of next month, she'd be ready to think about making a decision.

[3:52] Well, that's complete nonsense. That's a bunch of nothing. However, I as the seller am saying that because I'm feeling uncomfortable.

[4:02] And I'm feeling uncomfortable, hopefully, because I believe that I could have done better in terms of managing this opportunity and I'm embarrassed to admit it.

[4:14] Or the other side is I'm just not that good and I'm going to do what I've done to other leaders in the past, which is say whatever it is that I want to say to make you go away for a little while, right? Because ultimately, think about a conversation with a child or a teenager, and ultimately, they're just trying to get you to go away for a little while so they can be with their feelings. And so in a context of us talking to our seller, we want to really understand more. So when someone responds to a question, whether we like their response or not is irrelevant. Irrelevant and where we go offside is when we get attached to an answer that we hope they're going to say and instead of actually listening to what they do say and managing that process from there which we'll talk about a little bit later we get so hung up on oh I hope they say this I hope they say this I hope they say this and then when they don't say what we made up in our heads, now we go, what? And things go sideways very quickly because we actually discounted the other person in the conversation.

[5:38] When we get attached to them saying something before they've even said it,

[5:45] we've actually lowered their status in the conversation. And that's not a great way to maintain rapport or create long-term successful relationships.

[5:54] We need to ask a question and be agnostic to the answer. Same thing with our sellers. We need to have them ask questions of the buyer, not so that the buyer can give them an answer that sounds like because we're going to work with you we need them to ask the question and be completely open to whatever our their buyer says back because if they're not completely open to whatever the buyer says back they're going to go sideways just like we do with a with one of our sellers when they say something that we didn't expect because unfortunately we stopped listening because we were attached to an outcome that we made up in our heads.

[6:37] So leaving aside the liking perspective, so getting the mindset of when I ask a question, I'm genuinely seeking information. And I will say that to buyers. I will say that to team members because I'm a fairly direct communicator. And as much as I have worked really hard on my tonality and being more nurturing sometimes when I am a little too direct the other person is off put by the tone of my question so it's not necessarily the the content of the question itself it's how I deliver it and so if I feel like I am going to be asking something that the other person might feel is a little bit sensitive however I genuinely believe that I need to ask the question.

[7:28] I will say, I need to ask you a question that might be a little difficult. I'm genuinely curious what you have to say about this. I'm not expecting any specific answer. And from experience, I have watched individuals when I say that go, ah, and they relax, they open up, and we actually have a much better conversation. Conversation so when we ask the question we are open when we coach our sellers when they ask a question this is a great thing to role play with the with the seller and especially have them say things that wouldn't even necessarily happen in the real world with a buyer to practice staying present and actively listening you know if we're when we're role playing with our sellers and go Go back to an earlier episode of Full Funnel Freedom if you want more details on how to role play effectively with your sellers. If we're playing the seller, which is best practice, right? We play the seller first so we can demonstrate to our sellers the behavior that we expect when they're visiting with their buyers. And we might ask our seller, you know, so when were you hoping to have this product delivered to you? And they say something like, blue. Well, that's completely out of context. It's never going to happen in the real world.

[8:56] When we can demonstrate to our seller that we can handle a completely sideways response from a buyer in real time and keep the conversation going, that's going to instill that confidence in them. And of course, we're going to give them that opportunity to practice as well. So when we give them the reps and we help them see how they're able to stay present and respond instead instead of react to whatever their buyer says, they are going to be much more successful in qualifying effectively.

[9:32] Disqualifying deliberately, and moving opportunities through the funnel. All right, so now let's get to the whatever the answer is. So we ask the question, we are completely open to whatever someone says, they say something back that we don't necessarily like or we didn't necessarily expect. Expect so going back to the earlier example that I shared of we're in a sales funnel or an opportunity review conversation and I promised you I'm your seller I promised you that this opportunity would have crossed the finish line last month last quarter hell maybe even last year and it hasn't happened and I've given you a bunch of of nonsense and I've said well I'm going to call Cheyenne in next week because she said that maybe possibly in August she'd be ready to maybe be in the position to make a decision. Now, instead of getting upset because you're hoping that I have a clear next step in the calendar with Cheyenne, instead we can take that and say, Hamish, great, glad to hear that you're going to give Cheyenne a call. And then we can ask a number of different questions. The first one that I like to ask a seller when it seems like they're blowing smoke at me is to say, is Cheyenne expecting your call?

[10:53] That's a really good one to get clarity with the seller because if the buyer's not expecting the call, whether this opportunity has been in the calendar for a day, a week, or a year, that is still a cold call if they're not expecting the call from the seller. So is Cheyenne expecting your call? Another question that I've coached sales leaders to ask is, so when you get on that call with Cheyenne, what is the best possible outcome for you that isn't her saying, I'm ready to sign? The reason why we frame it in that way is because we take away the seller again, trying to blow some smoke, make us go away by saying, oh, well, the best possible outcome is I call and she says, I'm ready to go. Let's get started, which is highly unrealistic given the context that we're we're talking about where this opportunity has been dragging on and on and on and is unlikely to come across the finish line anytime soon especially even if our seller happens to connect with Cheyenne next week when they initially reach out and by the way we're also presuming that they're that they're even going to make the call and they're not necessarily saying that to us to again make us go away for a little while so they can be alone with their feelings.

[12:16] So when our seller or the person we ask the question to says something to us that we're not expecting, that's okay because we're staying present. And when we stay present, we always express appreciation for that information. I appreciate you sharing that. Thanks for telling me that. I'm glad to hear it. Whatever that might be because that's going to lower their defenses a little bit. And by the way, if you are the type of individual who really could care less what they said, and you really don't appreciate what they said, learn to say something genuine, and it's got to be genuine, to show that appreciation. Because especially in an uncomfortable conversation, and this conversation here is uncomfortable. I'm your seller. I don't want to tell you that this opportunity has gone sideways and I'm keeping it in my pipeline for the pure hope that it's going to come across the finish line someday. I'm uncomfortable.

[13:19] And if we don't make, in this context, our seller feel safe, they are not going to give us the real information or possibly any information. So we need to express gratitude, appreciation, so even something as simple as I'm glad to hear it. Now, again, if you are not someone who likes to give a lot of strokes, that is absolutely okay. However, it's not about us, it's about the other person. And if we don't make that other person feel at ease, especially in an uncomfortable conversation, the conversation is not gonna end well for either of us.

[14:00] So, when we have that expression of gratitude, again, I appreciate you telling me that. Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad to hear it, whatever that might be. Now, we genuinely might not be glad to hear it, okay? I get that. However, we do need to sound genuine. We need to express some sort of appreciation because if we don't, again, the other person is going to shut down. And then we can ask a question that doesn't sound like we're accusing them of lying. So, again, that That might be, so when you get on the call, what's the best possible outcome that's not getting an opportunity?

[14:37] Or that could be something like, is Cheyenne expecting your call? Or it could also be we take it out of the present and we move it back to the past. Because humans are way better with the past than they are with the present and definitely way better than we are with the future. So when we say so if we want to take it back to the past we can say so tell me about your last conversation with Cheyenne now this is again a point where we really need to be open to the outcome because from experience what we're likely going to hear is something the effect of oh I sent her an email two weeks ago or she emailed me a month ago and said call me the third week of August or whatever that might be. So then again, this is another technique where the person we're speaking with is uncomfortable, so they dodge the question. And this is something that you can teach your sellers to do as well with their buyers. So in this context, what we asked was, tell me about your last conversation with Cheyenne. And the response we got back is something about an email. And so then very gently, very nurturingly, we can say, Hamish, thanks for telling me about Cheyenne's email from a month ago. That wasn't my question. And then we let it sit and we allow the other person to go, oh, they just gently called me out that I ducked their question.

[16:05] So you can, if you want to add something on, you can say, Hamish, I appreciate you telling me about the email. That wasn't my question. What I asked was, tell me about your last conversation with Cheyenne. So when did you and Cheyenne last speak? So now we're changing the question a little bit to give me a date, and then we can leap into how that conversation went. Key thing in this type of scenario is only ask one question. Only ever ask one question at a time. This is another thing to impart to your sellers. Only ask one question at a time because if a seller asks a buyer two questions, the buyer is going to pick the one that they're most comfortable answering and it's probably not the one that our seller actually wants to answer too. So ultimately when we are asking questions of our sellers and when we are coaching our sellers to ask more effective questions to their buyers the first thing that we have to do is get in in the mindset of we have the right to ask anything, they have the right to say no. That's the first mindset. The second mindset is whatever their response is, is the right answer whether I like it or not.

[17:30] Then what we need to do once we have those mindsets locked in and we've done some role play internally is when we do ask a question, if we feel like we need to preface it with something like, I'm genuinely curious what you have to say about this to lower that pressure a little bit.

[17:47] We'll do that. When the person responds, we have to genuinely express gratitude that they shared something with us, especially in a difficult conversation. Conversation, if we get information from the person we've asked a question of, we have to say something like, I'm glad to hear it, I appreciate it, etc., etc., because otherwise they're going to put their defensive walls back up. And then we need to ask only one question at a time to dive deeper. And if the person ducks our question, we again express some kind of gratitude and then very gently say, that wasn't my question. And sometimes if we feel like we need to tack the question on again,

[18:30] we can say, that wasn't my question. What I asked was fill in the blank. And then the other really key thing to wrap up today is when we ask a question, we ask the question and then we shut up.

[18:46] Because if we over talk our question, we are unlikely to actually get real information and so in north america at least most people there's some data out there that says most people can go less than three seconds of silence in a conversation it's like 2.67 or something like that before they feel the need to start talking so.

[19:19] From five only because if I go one, two, three, and the other person hasn't started talking yet, because some people will take longer than three. So I count backwards silently in my head from five. Usually by the time I get to two, the person I'm speaking with or the person I've asked the question to is giving me some kind of a response. I'm very curious to hear what your big takeaways are on our social media platforms. Thanks for listening. And until we connect on the next episode, go create full funnel freedom. Thanks for listening to today's episode of the full funnel freedom podcast. You can continue to support us by leaving us a review and a rating, sharing this episode with a couple of sales leaders in your network who you care about. I'd love to connect with you. I'm easy to find Hamish Knox on LinkedIn. Also, if you'd like a free 15 minute call with me, go to www.hamish.sandler.com forward slash how to Sandler until we connect on the next episode, go create full funnel freedom.

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